The hidden truth about balance is it requires that everything in our lives be equally distributed at all times. It insists that the needs of our marriage and our kids, our work and our relationships, be completely proportional at every given moment. But that’s just not the way my life unfolds every day. Ultimately, I decided that balance is way too meticulous a science to get just right in my daily life, and that it wasn’t something I was very interested in for myself. In its place, I sought wholeness for my family and my work.
- Joanna Gaines
Life definitely feels best when we feel unity and balance in our world. The formula seemed to be equal parts work and play, fun and toil, ease and challenge. “Work hard, play hard” has been my personal motto for awhile. I put my heart into everything I do and work myself to a breaking point at times. But what I have finally realized is that, by viewing my life in compartments, something is always left out. If I am working hard, then I can’t be playing hard, theoretically. But this doesn’t feel peaceful or comfortable or right.
Part of the reason for this realization is the structure of my “new life.” After being a single mom for awhile, I found the deepest, sweetest love with the contractor I have always trusted for all of my projects! Naturally, work and play began to blend. We had begun to work so hard and so much that we had to find a way to make work fun, which was easy because we truly enjoy being around each other. Seeing this transformation was the beginning of this new structure.
On top of this new aspect of my life, I also have a few jobs that I love equally: educator, designer, and realtor. I often have to turn one of these off to turn another one on . But I have always wanted to have a zillion careers, so this for me is very fitting and fulfilling. The challenge comes when I feel like I am letting one go to build another up. I know this has to happen sometimes, but I also know I needed a better way to “balance” my worlds.
So my new aim is to stop feeling guilty and start feeling grateful. I can be a really good working mom, where my kids see how hard I work and get inspired to work hard themselves. I can be a really good educator, because the skills I have learned in real estate help me to better advocate for the teachers and students with whom I work. I can be a really good designer, because the skills I learned in my other jobs help me educate and advocate for my clients. And I can be a really good wife, because I know that I am living as my true self in all occasions and showing up fully for my husband.
Wholeness is my new goal. Balance was my old goal. I don’t need to compartmentalize all the parts of me. Because all of the parts of me make me exactly who I am! And on the day of my five-month anniversary, I am happy and proud to say that I love who I am, and my new husband does, too.